There was an elephant in the room of my mind
It stood and watched me silently.
When I introduced myself to people it looked up
waiting to be introduced.
it's my socially unacceptable secret
my conversation killer
my secret past
hidden but huge
like an elephant in the room of my mind.
Imagine if I said to someone
Hi I'm Sarah. I was abused as a child by someone I didn't know, my family unaware.
And they would say...
well what would they say?
So I didn't say it to anyone
but that abuse had twisted my mind and my soul so I was walking dysfunction.
For a long time unaware of how broken I was
thinking the tormenting demons were normal
normal for hell maybe
but not meant for a princess of the King
a precious child made the image of God.
Sinned against yet consumed with shame and guilt
as if it was my fault.
If you've broken your arm or leg you get sympathy, understanding, an encouraging smile.
When your soul's been broken and you limp on the inside
you want to say the fact you're broken
so someone can help you.
But you stay silent
looking at the elephant in your own mind
and wishing someone would take it away forever.
Then someone did it for me.
It was Jesus.
He appears in different forms
and he came in the form of an older woman in my church
who was filled with the Holy Spirit.
And she gave hours
and hours to me
listening to my brokenness
understanding my pain
bringing God's word to my life through prayer
hugging me when words just wouldn't do.
Unlike coffee healing wasn't instant
when you've been hurt over a long time
it takes time for healing to come.
But it came
and gradually I realized
Jesus had gently but firmly
led the elephant away out of the room of my mind.
This is what healing looks like
complete removal of any elephant that fills the room of your mind.